SYLVESTER. Directed by Tim Hunter; written by Carol Sobieski; produced by Martin Jurow for Columbia. Starring Melissa Gilbert and Richard Farnsworth. Rated PG (language).
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Movies that are suitable for kids but entertaining for adults, too, are the rarest of animals. Titles like E.T. and The Wizard of Oz come to mind.
But don't get your hopes up about Sylvester. It doesn't even fit in the much less demanding category of good kid movies that don't interest adults.
There are a couple of reasons why it's not even suitable, much less "good" for the younger-than-preteen set. Like a five-year-old trying to act big, it throws mildly obscene language about in a self-conscious and offensive manner.
And there is a scene featuring an attempted rape which goes on a little too long. Too long to make it easily ignored, that is, by younger children who wouldn't really understand what's happening.
At first glance, through, Sylvester looks perfect. It's about a young woman who trains an unlikely horse to compete in Olympic-class equestrian events. The star is Gilbert, who doubtless has a large following of "Little House on the Prairie" fans. And her mentor is Farnsworth, a very capable and appealing actor.
But the promising story and cast just don't work out. The narrative feels more like a series of episodes than an integrated story. The sleazy character who attacks Charlie (Gilbert), for example, is important for the first 15 minutes, then is never heard from again.
Sylvester fools around with a lot of irrelevant stuff like this before getting down to the business of training and exhibiting the horse. It takes a lot of time to lead up to this section, which is by far the most interesting in the movie. And it is not time well spent.
Farnsworth does as good a job as could be expected with the role of Foster. But, to put it mildly, the character is not very well conceived. His first several scenes establish Foster as a model westerner and modern cowman. Gruff but kindly, and upright as a fence post.
Then, all of a sudden, we learn he's a drunkard. After getting used to that, we're asked to believe that he also is an accomplished horse trainer, not only for the cattleyard he runs, but also for the sophisticated sport of "eventing." Now it's not impossible that a person could be all those things, or that a movie could make such a character believable. But Sylvester doesn't.
I would like to think that Gilbert is a better actress than she shows here, since I always enjoyed her on T.V. Maybe it's the writing in her case, too. Charlie makes more sense as a character than Foster does. But for most of the first two-thirds of Sylvester she just shows us, again and again, how perky, dedicated and "mature beyond her years" this kid is. Such repetitive scenes don't build a screen character, they just bore the audience.
A more interesting leading man might have helped Gilbert with Charlie. But Michael Schoeffling is a lump. Nice-looking, but a lump. He didn't have to act in 16 Candles last year, since he was essentially just a sex object. But his role in Sylvester is different. It's hard to see how the dynamic Charlie could be attracted to him.
The "horsey" portions of this movie are quite interesting. Charlie's run through the jumping course her friends have devised for her, and her inevitable triumph at the eventing trials in Kentucky, are fun to watch.
And some movies are good even when the people are much less interesting than the animals. But the movie Sylvester has too much going against it for the horse Sylvester to overcome.
March 27, 1985