DIABOLIQUE. Directed by Jeremiah Chechik; written by Don Roos; produced by Marvin Worth and James G. Robinson for Morgan Creek. Starring Sharon Stone, lsabelle Adjani and Chazz Palminteri. Rated R.
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This is really embarrassing. Twice in the same month I've had to publicly admit not having seen some great, classic French movie. First there was La Cage aux Folles, the farce that Birdcage is based upon. And now Diabolique, the 1954 thriller that many people have called one of the scariest and best suspense movies ever made.
Well, I'm definitely going to look for the original on video because, believe me, the current remake is NOT worth getting out of the sunshine for.
It does have some entertaining points. Like Stone's character, which has some good one-liners and is so very camp that she's quite fun to watch. The problem is, she doesn't fit in with the other actors and her character is so outrageous that an already weak storyline just can't compete.
Stone plays Nicole, a teacher and mistress of Guy (Palminteri), who runs a private boys' school owned by his wife Mia (Adjani). This little triangle is cozier than you might expect, since Guy mistreats both women. For this reason, if not others, Nicole and Mia get chummy and come up with a plan to do away with their tormentor.
After the deed is done, all should be well (although it's a pretty leaky plan that no real person could have much confidence in). But the girls begin to have doubts that Guy is really dead. An added complication is the late introduction of Kathy Bates as a detective with time on her hands who takes an interest in the headmaster's disappearance.
Adjani is good as the timid Mia, and she looks almost exactly the same as she did 20 years ago in The Story of Adele H. Has she been in a time capsule? And Palminteri is acceptably brutish as Guy. The problem is that hard-as-nails Nicole is even more brutish. Far from being intimidated by the sadistic Guy, it seems like she could have him for breakfast.
The original Diabolique must have done a better job of making the whole story work together, to have garnered so much praise. Because the remake practically puts you to sleep. Except when Stone is vamping around campus in her leopard-skin pedal-pusher outfits. Did you ever have a math teacher that looked like that? Then, at least, it's good for a laugh. But nary a chill or a thrill.
April 10, 1996